Please God, Help My Family
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Please God, Help My Family
"Please God, bless my efforts to support this beautiful family. Do not put me to shame because of financial ruin. Help me to focus and work hard, putting aside selfish desires for recreation and entertainment until we're safely out of debt. Dear Father in Heaven, calm my heart and guide my faith in you, trusting that you will provide for us through the goodness of others. Help me to trust that you will work in the hearts of strangers as I reach out in all humility and sincerity. Move them, O my Lord, to respond to my plea for financial help. Amen."
Such is the prayer of my heart. It wasn't always like this, but a lot has changed in three short years. I, the father, was laid off from my corporate job in computer technology. I had a good salary, a healthy 401k, and a burning desire to do something different. The economy was still decent early 2006 and I figured it was a good time to begin anew. I started several businesses, but by this time they have all simply drained my savings and consumed my time. I even max'd out my home equity loan. Business trickled in; the bills poured in. At this time, I have a lot of potential, but my bills simply won't wait until it's realized.
In the meantime, around Christmas of 2003, another man (if I could call him that) walked out on his wife and two small children. One child, a baby, was not even a year old. On Valentine's Day, he said he wanted a divorce. This single mother and her two small children were emotionally devastated. They subsequently received a lot of support from their church and the mother's family. The family helped by situating them back home. The church helped by giving them emotional, spiritual, and prayer support.
At the first, the mother hated men and did not trust them. Who could blame her? She often sobbed for hours on end, and her 4 year old son would try to comfort her by bringing her a Bible.When the younger daughter was old enough to watch Baby Einstein, she would turn her head in wonder and sadness at her mother.
Year after year, the church continued praying for the three of them: first, that that would heal emotionally and second, several years later, that the kids would get a new dad who loved them and that the mother would get a new husband who cherished her.
Imagine how humble it made me to think that *I* was the answer to their prayers! We met by very slim odds and our relationship developed quickly. Within months, I loved them all deeply. I never knew my heart was capable of such depth. We married shortly after that and now we live all together. The kids call me 'dad' and I proudly refer to them as my son and daughter. My wife and I are still amazed at the circumstances by which we met, how deeply we care for each other, and how we've become best friends through honest vulnerability and emotional support.
Yet, the financial situation, although showing signs of leveling off, continues to get worse. We need a boost. Now. She works full-time and would love to be a stay-at-home mom. I would love to generate enough income to support that scenario and it's what motivates me the most. Our cars are old, we cannot afford health insurance (it is not offered where she works and I'm self-employed), and the church and family is doing all they can.
Also, it's hard to go out and be confident and positive in my business when I'm deeply worried about our current debt, a debt I brought into the marriage. I feel really bad for not progressing faster, but she assures me that "it's not what we have for dinner that matters, but the love we share among the ones who sit at the table." However, sometimes I can't help but wonder, "How can God bless us beyond imagining in bringing us together yet leave us in a state of such tremendous financial difficulty."
Maybe God is teaching me to reach for help. I've always had an attitude of helping myself, and the idea that others should do the same. Maybe you are reading this because God is touching your heart to participate in that lesson, or, perhaps, He is teaching you something. Please find it in your heart to help us turn our financial situation around. I am utterly grateful for anything you could do for us, for my beautiful family. God bless you!
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